Dear reader,

I know you may feel lost, worthless, maybe even like you don’t know who you are right now, but at some point you may need to look into yourself to truly understand who you may be.

I say this as someone who isn’t too sure who they are either, but when you think about it, I know we are all worth something. You have a lot more ahead of you than you may be able to recognize now.

If you’re reading this, it means you’re on a journey — a journey that, at times, feels uncertain, confusing, maybe even overwhelming. You’re searching for yourself, trying to understand who you are, what you believe in and what purpose guides your life. And you’re not alone. 

Many of us, at some point in our lives, find ourselves in this place of uncertainty, of wondering where we belong and who we’re meant to become. Some people figure it out early; others spend decades in discovery, and some of the most incredible people never stop searching. 

This letter is for you — the person who feels lost, unsure, and perhaps frustrated because you haven’t “found yourself” yet. Here’s the truth: you’re exactly where you need to be.

First, let’s break down the idea that “finding yourself” is a final destination, the last stop in your self-discovery journey. The phrase “finding yourself” suggests that once you uncover the real “you,” who you may think you are, everything will just click right into place and you will be able to live the rest of your life with certainty about who you are, your identity, passions and even your path.

This is a myth. Life is not static. It’s not a straight shot from start to finish

The journey of self-discovery is ongoing. Even people who seem like they have it all together on the outside go through phases of reinvention and rediscovery. Consider this, in her book Becoming, Michelle Obama talks about the state of becoming in its entirety. It includes growing, learning and evolving throughout your hardships. She shares “If you don’t get out there and define yourself, you’ll be quickly and inaccurately defined by others. For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self.”

The person you are today may feel incomplete, or unfinished, but you are always in progress. Don’t rush yourself to find the final, finished version of you, because there isn’t one.

Here’s where things get interesting. Uncertainty is not your enemy. It’s one of your greatest allies. Why? Because in that space of not knowing, you are free to explore, experiment, and play with the possibilities of who you can become. Certainty can sometimes trap us in a rigid identity, while uncertainty invites creativity.

Instead of focusing on “finding” yourself as though you’re a lost object, shift the mindset to creating yourself. You have the opportunity to craft your identity, piece by piece, experience by experience. 

Think of it like this: you’re an artist, and life is your canvas. You’re painting a masterpiece, but that masterpiece isn’t finished after one stroke. Every day, every decision and every interaction adds color and texture to the bigger picture.

What it means to “find yourself” today is different from what it meant a generation ago, it’s also different from what it might mean two years from now. You must recognize that it’s not just you that is evolving, it’s also the world around you.

Our sense of identity is influenced by a lot of the things we are exposed to such as, but not limited to, the rise of social media and shifting societal norms.

Many of us are part of multiple communities, identities and cultures, which means self-discovery is not about fitting into one box but learning how to navigate and integrate multiple facets of who we are. 

Your identity is fluid. You may feel lost now, but the reality is that who you are is never static. It shifts every day with experiences, environments and personal growth. Give yourself permission to evolve and know that feeling lost is sometimes just a sign that you are in the middle of something bigger.

If there is one thing that you take away from this article, it’s that you are not behind. You are not failing because you haven’t “found” yourself yet. Again, the journey is not linear. It’s messy, complex and at times, very uncomfortable. You also need to know that your journey is beautiful and unique. Every twist and turn, every bump in the road, is a necessary part of the process.

Celebrate where you are now. You are exactly where you need to be and the fact that you are seeking, questioning and exploring means you are growing. Keep moving forward and trust that with time clarity will come your way. But know that clarity does not mean your journey is over. 

You are a work in progress, a masterpiece in the making.

With compassion and encouragement,

Someone who is on the same journey,

Kaylynn Crawford.